Brownstone Women's Spotlight: A Profile of Nicole Gray

Ring the Alarm: There's a New Sheriff in Town!

This month’s feature is a near and dear friend of mine. I call her “Fav” because she is my ride or die friend who has just always had my back. Nicole Gray is one of the most humble, loyal, and strongest women I know. Although it took me by surprise, it was only natural for Nikki to enter into one of the toughest professions to help people. At 25, Nikki is currently a deputy at the Century Regional Detention Facility in Southern California. She never ceases to amaze me with her relentless strength (physically and spiritually) and I hope that her story will empower you too. Meet my fav, Deputy Gray.

Tymika Morrison (TM): You’ve been a sheriff for over a year now. Congratulations! What made you want to become a sheriff?

Nicole Gray (NG): Honestly, I never thought that I would become a sheriff. I actually decided that I wanted to be a detective because I knew that I wanted to help people by solving crimes. I did a lot of praying and research about it and found out that becoming a sheriff was the first step into going into that direction.

TM: What type of training did you have to go through?

NG: First, I went through a background process which took about 8 months to a year. Then I had to take several exams that included writing, oral, physical and polygraph tests. Next, I went through another background check where they interviewed family, neighbors, and previous employers to get a feel for the type of person I was. After that I spent 16 weeks in a high stress academy. It was a lot of work and yelling. I had to participate in daily morning workouts, take law enforcement tests, qualify for shooting, and was pepper sprayed amoung many other things. Training was tough, but ironically I miss it. That was the best shape I’ve been in my life. I don’t miss getting up early though. That part was kind of rough.

TM: Was there ever a moment when you wanted to quit?

NG: Several. I'm at a women's facility working with women. Women are a lot harder to deal with than men. Men are more laid back. They worry about themselves. Women are more petty. There have been times when I have asked the question "Why am I here? Why am I doing this?" Then God says that I have you here for a reason. When inmates come to me and say "You've changed my life" I know I'm doing this for a reason.

TM: What about during the academy?

NG: The academy was fun. I was pushed physically a lot. I had already been through a high stress situation, so I didn't have problems. I loved it!

TM: What is a typical day for you like on the job?

NG: I have the early morning (em) shift. I have to do a wrist band count of all 124 inmates in my module. Once I notify that the count is good, it's pretty much lights out. I make sure that the inmates are behaving and that no fights break out. Then I wait until the inmates have court time. I get them up, feed them, and get them ready for their court appearance. There are also certain reports that need to be filled out on occasion.

TM: Do you ever fear for your life?

NG: I don't say that I fear for my life. I'm always cautious of my surroundings. You're pretty much outnumbered by the women, so you have to be confident and have a commander pressence. I've never been scared that "Oh, she's going to jump me" because they respect me.

TM: How is it working in a male dominated field?

NG: There are a low percentage of women and even lower percentage of black women, which makes you stand out. Therefore you have to work hard. There is a stigma that being in law enforcement is "man's work." That women won't be able to work as effective as man. But, I haven't experienced discrimination or racism. All I do is work hard. Actions speak louder than words. All I can do is be accountable for myself.

TM: What the best part of your job? What’s the least favorite thing about your job?

NG: The best part is knowing that I'm having some type of impact on women. Even if it's just one or two. Just knowing that I helped that one person see something in a different light makes me feel good. My least favorite part is seeing what people do to themselves. You get the worst of the worst. There are a lot of black and hispanics in our facility. It's depressing to see what our people are doing with their lives. Some are selling their bodies, taking lives, gang banging, etc. It can wear you down, but at the same time makes you realize how blessed you are. So actually the worst thing is the best thing because it's allowed me to appreciate the opportunities I've been given.

TM: At Brownstone we hope to inspire young girls to one day become bold women. What women have inspired you?

NG: First and foremost, my mother. She's one of my best friends. She has taught me to work hard. She's been my personal cheerleader and has encouraged me to do what I want to do whether it's a man's job or not. She's my role model. She has the heart of Mother Theresa. She has shown me what a real woman is about. She continues to sacrifice for her kids and family. When you at look at someone who tries to give everything to their family even when they know they don't have it...it's inspiring. If I can be half the mother she is, I know I'll be in good shape.

TM: Being a teenager is a lot different these days, what were you like as a teenager?

NG: I was a square, very reserved. I wasn't into going to the hottest parties. I concentrated a lot on school. I had a couple boyfriends here and there, but nothing too serious. I was very focused. At 16, I had my first job working at a bank making $8/hr. At the time that was a lot because it was above minimum wage. I was making money and that was the good life. Overall, I had fun in high school.

TM: As a young girl, did you see yourself wanting to be a sheriff?

NG: Not at all! I went through a lot of changes. At first it was a nurse, then a teacher. I told myself I was going to be math teacher because I was really good at math. Then in college, I wanted to be an attorney. The last thing on my list was to become a cop. I liked watching cop shows, but I always thought I was too scary.

TM: For the month of June, we’ve been talking about fun things to do during the summer. Do you have any fun summer plans?

NG: I'm getting married this summer and that's going to be pretty fun. We're going to Aruba for our honeymoon. So, I'm excited to go to another country and experience something new. I may also go to amusement park. Go to Disneyland and hang out with Mickey and Minnie.

TM: Lol! Last, do you have any advice for our Brownstone readers?

NG: Work hard and don't let anybody stop you from achieving your goals. If I can become a deputy, anybody can! Don't be too timid to face your dreams. Nothing is out of your reach!

--Tymika Morrison
Brownstone Team

Summer Must Haves: From the Bold to the Beautiful

Finding products that benefit the new season, your pocket, and your face can be a bit tricky. Even I have had a hard time throwing away last season’s favorite lipstick and skin application in hopes of embracing new ones. Oddly, one of the best benefits of the summer is finding new products that attract your beauty type and scream “I’m ready for summer!” So let’s all embrace summer with a new attitude. This is the perfect time to try something new and fresh while keeping some change in your pocket.

It’s taken some extensive research on my part, but I think I found some great items to get all of you “fashionistas” ready for summer!

Summer must have #1: Skin CoCo Butter (the yellow stick)
I don’t know about many of you but as a black woman the sun sure does take a toll on my skin type during the summer. Drying it out excessively, I ran to Wal-Mart for this summer must have! Not only is it accessible and cheap but it works!

Price: $3-$5

Summer must have #2: Mac Lipstick (Ruby Woo A20)
I believe that every girl must have at least one shade of a bold lip color. Red is the new everything when it comes to being bold and glamorous! With a chic yet casual outfit or even a little black dress, this lipstick can be worn both to the grocery store and a hip event! I found this amazing choppy color at one of several Mac stores.

Price:$15.00

Summer must have #3: Reclaim (for those looking to reclaim your skin for the summer)

This product truly fits all age groups. My mom presented this summer find to me last summer when I was having extreme issues with acne. With just one package lasting me over a year, I must admit this amazing find saved my skin! With organic melodies to help conquer those everlasting pimples, Reclaim had my skin looking brand new within weeks! (www.principalsecret.com)

Price:$20.00 (for a complete set!)

Summer must have #4: Maybelline Volum Express Mascara (Turbo Boost)

Since the invention of Eyelash Extensions long eyelashes seem to be what many women long for nowadays. Wanting long eyelashes without the hassle of getting extensions is what forced me to hit the beauty stores. Once I found this summer find I was in for a treat! With a great affordable price under its belt and an amazing stick application, this summer find is one that must be held onto tightly! You can find this product at your local Wal-mart or beauty store!

Price:$6.00

Summer must have #5: Shady lady Eye Shadow

I found this summer must have at Sephora. Not only does this compact have a wide range of fierce color shades, it also last for a long time! Mixing both the ‘bold and the beautiful’, the Shady Lady compact can bring out your soft sensual side or your ‘I’m ready for summer’ attitude!

Price:$16-20.00

-- Nyvia Weathersby
Guest Blogger

Nyvia is a fashion journalist based in Los Angeles. She started her creative writing journey at age 14. Nyvia aspires to change the world and inspire her readers with words full of empowerment and love.

Me Time = The Best Summer Time

With all of the activities that typically fill your school year schedule, between classes, sports, and work, it’s hard to find the time to stay centered. Time seems like such an intangible and uncontrollable force, but if you use it wisely, it can be your best friend. Or at least it can work with you instead of against you. Now that summer is here, you may have more time on your hands than you’re used to and boredom might be lurking if you don’t get a hold of it. And sometimes it’s hard to coordinate with your friends and their schedules, or maybe you’re not always looking to hang out with a large crowd all of the time. The good thing is that now you have the time to focus on yourself!

This isn’t to say that you need to instantly become a hermit and close yourself off to the world, but it’s okay to take some quiet moments and discover your inner self. And since it is summer, now is a great time to be outside and enjoy the beautiful weather.

Here are some good ways to relax and celebrate with a party for 1:
Listen to Private Party by India.Arie – It’s one of my favorite songs and since it’s India, you already know it’s good. Make a complete playlist with all of your favorite songs that can lift your mood and take you to another place.

Find a good book to read – Whether you need to reconnect spiritually, or you just want a fun adventure or love story to get lost in, Barnes and Noble and Borders have what you need. Maybe it’s the nerd in me, but getting lost in a book is so relaxing. Have you read the Twilight series yet? (Eclipse comes out in theatres June 30th!!)

Write poetry – Maybe you’ve never dabbled in writing before, but it’s one of the most therapeutic things you can do. Get a notepad and a pen, or even use a laptop to just list your thoughts and see how you really feel about some things.

Give yourself a makeover! - Head to toe, just go crazy! Not really lol but don’t be afraid to try a new hairstyle or color that you’ve been afraid to try before. (Keep in mind that if you’re going to dye your hair, make sure you’re not mixing too many chemical processes.) Pick a bright nail color and change up your style.

Do yoga – Building up your physical strength while also paying attention to your inner peace is important. Yoga is great for all of the above. And you don’t even have to take a class regularly because you can do poses in your room, or anywhere else for that matter.

Write a list of personal goals and set a timeline for completing them – Nothing feels better than accomplishing things you’ve been focused on for a long time.

Just remember that this summer doesn’t have to be spent on the couch or on extravagant vacation trips. Take some time for yourself and become a better you.

--Brittany Allen
Brownstone Intern

Happy Father's Day: Celebrating the Men in Our Lives

This Sunday is Father's Day. Don't forget to honor the men (fathers, grandfathers, uncles) who have made an influential mark in your life. Take some time out of your day to show them you appreciate them! Check out the Brownstone Team as they celebrate their fathers.

Tymika: My dad and I may not have the closest relationship, but I know that he supports me unconditionally. I am truly thankful that no matter what is going on he will step up to the plate to be there for me. I appreciate his words of encourage and know that he is proud of me know matter what happens.

Kyle: My dad means a WHOLE lot to me. Where he’s been in life and all that he’s accomplished has really had a positive and uplifting impact on my life. He has always been there for all the good times, and has coached (literally coached…lol) me through any trying times. And it’s the sacrifices that he’s made as to why I’ve had so few trying times in the first place. My life has been GREAT! and I am honored to be his daughter. Not many people can say they have a dad, let alone one like mine and THAT’s WASSUP!

Brittany: I love my father because he taught me fundamental lessons in life that have greatly influenced the person I am today. As an athlete, he taught me to win, but more than that, to play hard. There are things beyond my personal control in life, just like on the court, and at the end of the day, I want to look back and say I gave it my all. He taught me that success isn't an option, but an expectation - perception is everything. I can't achieve it if I can't dream it and I'm so thankful that he's encouraged each and every one of mine. I love you daddy, Happy Father's Day!



Don't forget to share with us what your father (uncle, grandfather) means to you!

--Brownstone Team

Healthy in the Heat

Summer salads, yogurt parfaits and all fruit smoothies hardly make up the list of my favorite summertime foods. It’s cool to keep the diet light, but sometimes those hot afternoons come with fries and a shake…lol. But somehow, someway I manage to justify my gluttonous eating with EXERCISE. Yup, that’s right, something’s gotta give if you want to enjoy your summertime must haves. Look at the bright side, at least the nice weather gives you more options. Here are some of my favorite summertime exercise activities.


Try going to the park or your local track and put in some laps and get those sit ups going. Walking or jogging for just 20 min a few times a week could make all the difference. Grab your friends and/or family members and burn some calories. Trust me, this will make you feel a little less guilty this 4th of July when you’re eating who knows how many ribs.





Who said bowling wasn’t exercise? Okay you might not break a sweat, but you’re out of the house and doing something fun and physical with your body. Plus your arm is getting a good work out. Lucky Strike is my personal favorite but there are cheap bowling alleys everywhere.






Bike riding on the beach is really fun too. The ride from Venice beach to the Santa Monica pier is just enough to give those thighs exactly what they need. If you don’t have a bike, the rentals are 5-10 bucks. Riding alongside the ocean…I’ll take it!

What’s Summer 2010 without the swimming pool? Get your money’s worth with your braids and weaves and get them wet. Stop looking at the water and just jump. Whether you’re doing laps or just playing around, you’re body is still enjoying the low-impact total body workout that you’re giving it.

-- Kyle Holland
Brownstone Team

Summer Jams

Music has always been a part of my summers. From the backyard bbqs to the family roadtrips, there has always been a song that reminds me of a particular moment. Now that school is officially out, it's time to load up your iPod or MP3 player with your favorite summer jams. So if you could pick 10 songs to get you amped for summer what would they be?

Here's my top 10 summer playlist:

10. Beyonce - Summertime

Whenever I hear this song, I immediately think of summer and me driving in a drop top with that special someone. The perfect summer love song :)

9. Justin Timberlake - Summer Love

Another fun summer love song.

8. Bobby Valentino - Slow Down

This song brings me back to the summer of '04. I remember hearing this song on the radio. I would always hear people singing the first part of the song, "Slow down...I just wanna get to know you." But no one knew the artist's name...lol. I eventually found out it was Bobby Valentino that fall.

7. Aaliyah - Rock the Boat

When I hear this song, I think of the video that was shot on a Caribbean island. I always picture myself trying to do the dance moves like Aaliyah on the boat.

6. Mariah Carey - Sweet Fantasy (Remix)

This is one of my favorite MC songs. I especially love Ol' Dirty Bastard's verse "Me and Mariah go back like babies and pacifiers." (lol) The song is really fun and I always think of carnivals because of the video.

5. Tupac - I Get Around

I remember seeing this video as a little girl and they seemed to be having so much fun at the pool party...lol.

4. TI - Whatever You Like

A catchy song to sing on roadtrips.

3. The Doveshack - Summertime in the LBC

My personal favorite...especially since it's about my hometown LONG BEACH! In high school, everytime this song would play my friends and I would go crazy. It was kinda cool to have song made especially about our city.

2. Usher - OMG

It took a while for this song to grow on me. I have to admit I didn't really like the techno sound of it, but like I said it has definitely grown on me. Whenever I hear the song I think of a party. OMG is the official summer party song in my book.

1. DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince - Summertime

As soon as you hear this song on the radio you know it's summer no matter how old you are.

And there you have it…the soundtrack to my summer. I’m sure as the summer moves along, there will be a ton of new songs to add to the list. So, what's the soundtrack to your summer?




--Tymika Morrison
Brownstone Team

Just Throw it in the Bag

Earlier this week, we talked about getting ready for swimsuit season. But you can't head to the beach or lounge by the pool without the perfect bag by your side. Check out these Brownstone finds for the Summer:




- Colorblocked Straw Bag ($29) from Spiegel

- Roxy 'Wild Side' Stripe Canvas Tote ($32) from Nordstorm

- AE Embroidered Tote Bag ($19.50) from American Eagle Outfitters

- Roxy Free Flow Beach Tote ($32.50) from Delia*s

- Ring Strap Basic Tote ($12.99) from Aeropostale

- Women's Graphic Rope Totes ($14.50) from Old Navy

- Tymika Morrison
Brownstone Team

Swimsuit Season: The Hunt is On!

Summer is here and that means you’re going for a look that requires a carefree and effortless beauty regime. No girl wants to spend all of her time indoors when the weather is this beautiful. The beaches are crowded and everyone is throwing poolside parties, so it’s only right that you look your best. And since it is the summer time, your swimsuit is one of your most important fashion choices. With so many options for style, colors, prints, etc., it can be a little overwhelming at first. But don’t worry, there’s a method to the swimsuit madness.



Here are a few general tips when looking for bathing suits that can make finding the perfect suit a lot easier.

• Be bold! Print is IN this summer, from tribal to floral and everything in between. There is no need to go for the solid bikini or one piece. Of course if you just find a suit in your favorite color, you might want to break this rule, but don’t feel like you have to go for the solid color. Vibrant colors pop even more against our beautiful brown skin.

• Be stylish! Don’t feel restricted by the traditional bikini style, or even the traditional one piece. You can find multiple variations for both of these styles that aren’t too sexy, but that show you have an eye for style.






• Shop for your body type and WORK IT GIRL! Every bathing suit isn’t made for everybody, literally. Some styles are more flattering for different shapes, and it’s important to know which styles work the best for you and your unique shape.

• Smaller chest: Look for tops that have ruffles and cinching. The extra attention to detail in the bust area tricks the eye into thinking there’s more than is actually there. If you need to balance out your shape because you’re curvier on the bottom, this is a good way to go.
  Average to bigger bosom: Support is key! Look for bikini tops or bathing suits with underwire or even halter straps.



• Curvy: Girl, you better work what you got and work it well! Depending on whether or not you want to cover your tummy or emphasize your sides, you have a lot of options. A lot of one pieces come with the sides cut out nowadays, and as long as you keep it tasteful honey, go for it! Other options include cinching around the midsection and even working with prints that accentuate a defined waistline.

Even if you don’t feel like you fit into a particular category, which is true for most girls, you can try on different styles to see what works for you. The main thing is that you’re confident with what you have on. Keep it tasteful, but be playful! You can even dress up a swimsuit with fun summer dresses, wraps, and jewelry. Do you and make it your own. Nobody can work it like you can!

Some good places to look for swimsuits include Target, Forever 21, JC Penney and even little boutiques by the beach. Don’t forget the sunscreen!

--Brittany Allen
Brownstone Intern

Too Hot for the Hot Comb!

The weather’s heating up and in a minute, it’s gonna be too hot for the hot comb! By that I mean it’ll be too hot to sit in the hair shop, too hot to bring out the pressing combs and flat irons, and way too hot to sweat it all out in a few days…or hours! I know those do’s are cute and it’s all a part of ur swag and all, but honestly, open your mind up to some natural hair styles that you can even do yourself. And, if you’re worried about where natural hair styles falls on the trendy spectrum, and trust me, you’re good.

Besides the fact that these alternative hair styles are cooler on the scalp and healthier for your hair, the next best thing about natural hair styles is that you can do them yourself. Because most of these styles are unstructured and use the “grab and go” parting method, you don’t have to stress about trying to make it look like it was professionally done. Let’s free up our pockets and break out of our not-so-natural hair habits.

You can achieve these natural hair-do’s right at home. All you need are your combs, brushes, and your favorite lightweight hair product (styling waxes, detanglers, non-alcoholic gels, setting lotion, etc.) and your ready to go to work. Let these ladies show you how it can be done…

Curly Set On Natural Hair Tutorial

Natual Hair Braid Side Frenchbraid Twist Tutorial

Try it! Get rid of that hot hair and cool down with these new styles. Take a day to yourself and plan to just experiment. Throw on these tutorials and get to work! Or create your new look on your terms and try out a natural style that suits you best. Throw on your lip gloss and cute earrings and rock out!

Tips & Tricks

So fresh and so clean, clean-always start with a clean head. Get rid of the residue from the previous weeks’ and start with a fresh scalp.

A little dab will do ya-don’t use too many hair products. It may not seem like it at first, but too much of any one thing will weigh your hair down and limit the longevity of your natural style

Let the frizzies free-as your natural hair styles wear over time, don’t take it down and do it over, just wear it…The messier, the better!

--Kyle Holland

Brownstone Team

Brownstone Summer Events Series Part I

School is almost out, which means that Summer is almost here! This Summer Brownstone will keep you posted on the coolest events happening across the U.S. So mark your calendars! Get your family and friends together to check them out.

• Long Beach Parks, Recreation and Marine (LBPRM) will host “100 Days of Summer.” Take advantage of hundreds of free or low cost cultural programs, sport activities and special events taking place between Memorial Day and Labor Day in Long Beach. Free movies in parks and beaches, museum programs, Long Beach Sea Festival events, special cooking classes at the Terrace Theater plaza and Hotel Maya, and ideas for spontaneous fun like hiking, biking, golf, tennis, kayaking swimming, and free drop-in youth and teen programs are just some of the activities listed on the site.
  
  Visit the 100 Days of Summer website for fun ideas for every day of summer 2010.

• Peter Pan in San Francisco. Direct from London, a spectacular new stage production of J.M. Barrie’s classic story performed in a state-of-the-art 1350-seat theatre pavilion. Conceived by an award-winning creative team and featuring twenty-two actors, stunning puppets, epic music, and dazzling flying sequences surrounded by breathtaking video, Peter Pan was a smash hit when it launched in London in 2009. Now the show is in San Francisco throughout the Summer.
  
  
• SF Juneteenth Festival (June 19-20) is a Bay Area event that celebrates and shares African-American history and culture through music, performing arts, living history and other cultural activities. June nineteenth is the time to celebrate the anniversary when the Union general arrived in Galveston, Texas, and read the Emancipation Proclamation declaring the end of the Civil War, which freed the slaves. Although, President Lincoln had signed the proclamation freeing the slaves in 1863, the word did not reach the people in Texas until 1865. Juneteenth is an official annual holiday in 31 states. For more information about Juneteenth visit http://www.juneteenth.com/.
  
  
• The DC Caribbean Carnival (June 26-27) is annual Caribbean style parade and festival designed to encourage cross-cultural programs within the Washington, DC Metropolitan area in the expansion of Caribbean culture, and to educate youths and adults in Caribbean arts, crafts and culture. Admission is $10.

Know of any fun events happening in your city? E-mail us (BrownstoneMag@gmail.com) and we'll post the events on our blog. On behalf of the Brownstone Team...Have a fun and safe summer!

--Brownstone Team