Valentine's Day 101

With Valentine’s Day a couple of days away you’re probably thinking one of two things. Either “Yay, I can’t wait to see what my boo got me” or “Who cares? The 14th is just like any other day!” No matter whether you admit it or not this holiday often raises questions about proper dating etiquette. Who better to ask than a guy? We asked our guest blogger, Derrick Harris to answer some questions about Valentine’s Day that we know some of you have been dying to ask.

What should I do if I don’t have a lot of money, but still want to do something special for my boyfriend?
Ok, now it’s time to get creative, so let’s jump right into it! You have to figure out what will make your boyfriend smile. What will he get the most use out of? These gifts are the best because they require actual thought and time. Here are some good suggestions:

· Purchase a CD wallet from your local 99¢ Store. Download some of his favorite albums and burn them onto blank CDs. You can make as many as you want and personally design the CDs. He will appreciate your time and recognize the thought you put into it. He will also have all his favorite albums in one CD book that you made just for him.

· Another idea for a day or night out; take him out on a fondue night at the beach or park. You can make a nice set up grab some candles, blankets, and romantic music, and share some dessert (ex: candy, rice crispy treat, fruit & chocolate, etc). Fondue is fun and romantic. All you have to do is melt any type of chocolate in a container and use fruit (strawberries, apples, grapes etc.) marshmallows, candy, rice crispy treats to dip and share with your partner.

What are the top 5 Valentine’s Day presents that a girl should NOT give a guy?
1. Flowers
2. Attitude
3. Anything you got your last boyfriend
4. Huge stuffed animals
5. School supplies

How do I get a really cute boy in my class to notice me out of all the girls at school?
The easiest way is to talk to him. This guy has to know you exist. I would start out by just saying a quick “Hey” to him. This is the easiest way. He has to look at you square in the face for his “ManMind” to process. He will notice you from here on out. Guys are slow and scared. We need help opening our eyes and matching them to our heart and mind.

Do guys really care about Valentine’s Day?
Guys generally care whether they’re in a relationship or not. Whether we are in love, seeking love or would just rather play Madden 2010, we ALL still get that “Awww it’s Valentine’s Day” feeling like women. And just like women, a secret admirer makes us secretly melt. Guys care because women care.

I’ve only been dating my boyfriend for a month should I get him something for Valentine’s day?
Yes . Even if you guys have been dating since February 13th @ 11:59 p.m., a valentine kiss, dinner, movie, greeting card, school gram or vday hug is expected. Valentine’s Day is a 50/50 day for love, understanding and sharing token gifts. So unless you told him you all are not exchanging gifts, then I’m sure he has something for you too!

What should I do if I don’t like the present my boyfriend gets me?
Do NOTHING!!!!! Well, do something, but nothing initially. So he got you a “GUY’s Gift” that you don’t like. Ok, I admit guys do this. Accept the gift and smile like you love it. For future presents my advice would be to express what you like when you guys are at the mall or out on the town. Say “Wow, Derrick I love these UGG Boots. Wouldn’t they look great on me?” If your man doesn’t know what you like, then you gotta trick him.

How do guys feel about paying on a date? Is it the responsibility of the person who asks or should it be assumed that it’s the guy’s responsibility?
Money is a huge factor when it comes to dating. When a guy asks a girl on a date, he should pay for what he has PLANNED for the date. Likewise, when a girl asks a guy on a date, she should be prepared to pay. Most guys will offer to pay for at least a portion of the night (parking, drinks, movies). The problem is a typical date consisting of dinner and a movie (without movie food) totals over $50 dollars. If it’s a mutual date expect him to at least pay for himself. But always be prepared to have your own cash. Either way he wants to go out with you, so never let money hurt a good time.

Do guys prefer to approach women or would they mind if a women approaches them?
Guys have no real preference. But if you want him to be interested in you and he hasn’t picked up on your signals, you are going to have to step it up so he is aware.

How much is too much to spend on a Valentine’s Day present?
I wouldn’t say there is a limit, but you don’t want to put a lot of money and pressure on your man. Valentine’s Day is more about love and the thought behind the gift.

What’s an appropriate gift to get for a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day?
Guy’s like gifts just like women. For starters, I’d say get a blank card and tell him how you feel. Anything else is just icing on the cake. The best gift for any guy is something he will use often. These items might include hats, video games, shoes, shirts, iPod accessories, gift card to his favorite stores, etc.


Derrick Harris
--Guest Blogger

Derrick is a student at Cal Poly Pomona, majoring in Business Marketing. In his spare time he enjoys DJing.

Brownstone Women's Spotlight: A Profile of Kristin Jones

From Windsor Hills to the White House

“Hey Hun!!!” She opened the door and greeted me with her signature bright smile. “Hey stranger!” It had been 3 months since I last saw my old college roommate, Kristin. I walked inside her apartment, noticing all the modern décor and thought to myself, same ol Kris. Unique, fun, ambitious, creative, smart…the list could go on for days. “Take your shoes off, get comfy.” Typically, when the daily grind keeps us entrenched in our separate lives, Kristin and I always find the time to update each other on our families, professional lives, relationships…the usual. This time, however, I knew our conversation would be far more inspiring than any before. Kristin just returned from Washington D.C, where she interned for the First Lady of the United States, Michelle Obama. Now more than ever before, I am honored to call her my friend, and it is my absolute pleasure to introduce to you Ms. Kristin Therese Jones.

Kyle Holland (KH): Kristin, first of all, thank you so much for sharing your internship experience with all of us…tell us, how did you get the internship with the First Lady?

Kristin Jones (KJ): It was so random. I saw an email blast for the internship and although I was hesitant, I applied. I figured I had nothing to lose.”

KH: How extensive was the application process?

KJ: The process was very simple. I uploaded my resume, along with an essay on my commitment to public service, a brief memo to the President and First Lady and 3 letters of recommendation.

KH: What was your role as an intern? What projects did you work on?

KJ: I interned for the Scheduling and Advance office. As an intern, I worked in the department that creates and maintains the First Lady’s schedule and her appearances offsite. The team and I, when given the opportunity would visit and meet with the event organizers of any offsite venues where she was scheduled to speak or make an appearance. The First Lady operates under a tight schedule, so there isn’t any time for surprises. The goal is always to ensure that all the details were ironed out in advance.

KH: Can you describe a typical day?

KJ: That’s hard because I feel like every day was different. My major role as an intern was to manage all of the invitations the First Lady receives. There were thousands of invitations per day. It was my job to sort and track every single invitation, whether they be from global leaders or citizens. My boss would then host a meeting with Senior staff to discuss and review the invitations.

KH: What did you enjoy most about your internship?

KJ: I just think it was phenomenal to walk into the East Wing of the White House and be exposed to those around me. Not just the First Lady, but also those who work for her, who I consider the ‘unsung heroes.’ These are the individuals who made my White House experience most amazing. Who would have thought, a girl like me could accomplish something so great. I remember the day after President Obama won the election, I felt I could do anything. It opened up a world of possibility. Before, I never thought the White House was a place where anyone would want me…I’m still trying to take it all in.

KH: What are your future plans now that you’ve completed the internship?

KJ: Applying to Business School. I am really interested in learning about the realm of Educational Entreprenership. Prior to the internship I worked for Teach for America. I am very interested in creating an educational consulting firm that focuses on creating culturally relevant curriculums across content areas to better engage multicultural populations.

KH: What woman has inspired you or inspires you the most?

KJ: My mom. She has always been so supportive of me. She helps me figure out what my next move in life is going to be. She actually pushed me to apply for the internship in the first place. Sometimes it’s a lot of pressure but I think she’s amazing, and she pushes me to be my very best.

KH: Describe what you were like as a teenager for those who don’t know you personally.

KJ: “I think I was a normal teenager. I was a cheerleader and very involved in student government. I liked to read and school was very important to me. I liked to hang out with my friends and have fun. Even in college, I got involved, I pledged…I had fun. I had balance and that was a good thing for me to have in the White House. It helped to relieve the pressure.

KH: If you could leave one piece of advice to our Brownstone readers, what would it be?

KJ: I just encourage young girls to try your hardest and love yourself. You’re always aware of what your best is, what it looks and feels like, so get to know yourself in that capacity.

KH: I agree. That’s wonderful. Well Kristin, you’ve done it again. You are truly an inspiration to all of us and I know you have positively impacted our younger readers. Thank you again for allowing us the opportunity to use your story to inspire young African American women.

KJ: No prob. Thank you and the Brownstone Team for creating a platform where young girls can be themselves and learn from each other…I’m excited.

To learn more about Kristin’s internship or opportunities at the White House, visit, http://www.whitehouse.gov/about/internships


Kyle Holland

--Brownstone Team

Behind the Scenes: Black Women Calling the Shots

Although, we are seeing more leading roles for African American women on the small and even the big screen (Zoe Zaldana in Avatar, Mo'Nique in Precious), it's very rare that we hear about the Black women in film on the opposite side of the lens. These women are the storytellers. The women who make sure the story is told correctly from beginning to the end. Take a look at some of the few Black women who are holdin' it down and calling the shots from behind the scenes.

• Gina Prince-Blythewood: If you’ve watched The Secret Life of Bees then you know Gina’s work. Gina directed the film which she adapted from the best-selling book by Sue Monk Kidd. She first discovered her love for directing while attending UCLA’s film school.
  
  Credits: Love and Basketball (director), The Secret Life of Bees (director), Felicity (writer), South Central (writer), A Different World (writer)
  
  
• Kasi Lemmons: Kasi is most known for her role as Ardelia Mapp in The Silence of the Lambs. She later went on to direct several films.
  
  Credits: Eve’s Bayou (director),The Caveman’s Valentine (director), Talk to Me (director)
  
  
• Sanaa Hamri: Born in Tangier, Morocco, Sanaa struggled to become an actress before deciding to try directing. In 2000, she taught herself to use an Avid editing machine and surprisingly has never taken a film making course. Before directing movies, Sanaa directed music videos for Lenny Kravitz, Prince, Joss Stone, Common, and Jay Z just to name a few.
  
  Credits: Something New (director), episodes of Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy and Men in Trees (director)
  
  
• Mara Brock Akil: After graduating from Northwestern University, Mara began her career writing for the 90's critically acclaimed series South Central. But Mara is best known for her series Girlfriends, which aired for eight seasons. Along with her husband Salim Akil, Mara owns the production company Happy Camper Productions.
  
  Credits: Moesha (writer), The Jamie Foxx Show, (producer), Girlfriends (producer), The Game (producer)
  
• Sara Finney-Johnson: A USC alum, Sara has become one of the top director/screenwriter/producers of Black sitcoms.
  
  Credits: The Parkers (writer/producer), Family Matters (writer/producer), The Parent 'Hood(writer/producer), Moesha (writer/producer)
  
• Shonda Rhimes: Shonda earned her bachelor's degree from Dartmouth College and her master's degree from USC's School of Cinema-Television. After graduation, she struggled as a writer and took on odd jobs such office administrator and counselor at a job center. After years of dedication and hard work, she finally hit it big with Grey's Anatomy.
  
  Credits: Introducing Dorothy Dandridge (writer), Crossroads (writer), The Princess Diaries/The Princess Diaries: Royal Engagement (writer),Grey’s Anatomy (creator/producer), Private Practice (creator/producer)
  
• Felicia Henderson: Felicia's passion for writing landed her a job in television at NBC as a Creative Associate. After attending the prestigious Warner Brother's Writing Camp, she landing an apprenticeship on the hit sitcom Family Matters. Later, Felicia would go on to create “Soul Food: The Series,” a one-hour drama for the Showtime Network based on the hit film, “Soul Food.” She currently teaches television drama writing at the UCLA film school.
  
  Credits: Family Matters (writer), Fresh Prince of Bel Air (writer), Moesha (producer), Sister, Sister (producer), Gossip Girl (producer), Fringe (Producer)

--Tymika Morrison
Brownstone Team

Looking Back to Move Forward: An Ode to the Trailblazer

When you think of inspirational women of color, who comes to mind? Some say, Oprah for her ability to turn a failing talk show into a multi-million dollar nationally syndicated show and for being considered one of the most influential people in America. Others may say Halle Berry, for her effortless elegance, star power evidenced in her Academy Award win in 2001 and for her ability to captivate audiences even at age 40. Yes, both Oprah and Ms. Berry deserve their props for being great 21st century role models, however, when I think of inspiration, I think back to the lesser known trailblazers who opened the door for me to have the freedoms I enjoy today. This Black History Month, I want to salute the women whose words challenged the system, encouraged their fellow sista to reach for greatness and most importantly continue to inspire today. Now, it would be impossible to name every trailblazing woman I find inspirational, so I’ve narrowed it down to my top ten and included the quotes that I’ve come to love and use for encouragement. May you learn about someone new and hopefully their words will inspire you also.

Top Ten Inspirational Pioneers

10. Angela Davis - A political activist who worked to uplift the Black community and erase gender discrimination.

“Revolution is a serious thing, the most serious thing about a revolutionary's life. When one commits oneself to the struggle, it must be for a lifetime.”

9. Josephine Baker - An international star whose shows captivated the world. She also fought for racial equality.

“The things we truly love stay with us always, locked in our hearts as long as life remains.”

8. Alice Walker - A beloved writer whose books highlight the Black experience and bring voice, in particular, to the female struggle.

“And so our mothers and grandmothers have, more often than not anonymously, handed on the creative spark, the seed of the flower they themselves never hoped to see - or like a sealed letter they could not plainly read.”

7. Bessie Coleman - In 1921, she became the world’s first Black licensed airplane pilot and also opened a school to teach Black women how to fly.

“I refused to take no for an answer.”

6. Maxine Waters - The outspoken Congresswoman from Los Angeles has committed herself to improving the status of her fellow African American, and is currently the most senior African American woman in Congress.

“I have a right to my anger, and I don't want anybody telling me I shouldn't be, that it's not nice to be, and that something's wrong with me because I get angry.”

5. Barbara Jordan - A political trailblazer who became the first Black female senator in 1966, a post that had not been held by a Black person since 1883.

“Do not call for black power or green power. Call for brain power.”

4. Shirley Chisolm - The first Black woman elected to Congress was a political trailblazer as well. In 1972, she was the first major party Black candidate and the first woman to run for the Democratic presidential nomination.

“Tremendous amounts of talent are lost to our society just because that talent wears a skirt.”

3. Lorraine Hansberry - A pioneering playwright and activist, whose play, A Raisin In The Sun, was the first written by a Black woman to be performed on Broadway.

“There is always something left to love. And if you haven't learned that, you ain't learned nothing.”

2. Wilma Rudolph - Though plagued by disease and having to wear leg braces in her childhood, she refused to accept defeat. The exceptional athlete won three gold medals at the 1960 Olympics.

“I tell them that the most important aspect is to be yourself and have confidence in yourself. I remind them the triumph can't be had without the struggle.”

1. Mary Mcleod Bethune - Pioneering educator who founded Bethune-Cookman College , the National Council of Negro Women and also served during the Franklin D. Roosevelt administration.

“Invest in the human soul. Who knows, it might be a diamond in the rough.”

--Amelia Jones

Brownstone Intern

Fashion Flattery: Styles That Fit Your Size

How many times have you asked a friend or boyfriend, “Do I look good in this?” Even though you knew it wasn’t the most flattering of outfits, they still said it looked great because they didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Based on your body type, there are a plethora of looks that do and don’t look good on you. There are also ways to make a simple look super chic and wearable whether its day or night!

Tall & Thin

• Skinny Jeans/Leggings
  
• Booties
  
• Solid V-neck Tee
  
• Boyfriend Blazer

This a very effortless look, that is simple and chic ,yet shows off your height!
When night comes along, you can jazz your outfit up with heels or even a studded vest.

• Neutral Blouse


• Jewel Belted Skirt
  
• Booties or Flats


• Neck Accessory (pearls, diamonds, or a chunky gold necklace!)
  

Showing off your legs and making them appear longer is the main goal. When you’re ready for a night out on the town, get the heels out and look taller and make those legs look longer!

Curvy

If you’re a curvy girl and want to play it safe, you can simply wear a loose black dress. However, it’s 2010! Be proud of your curves and show off that beautiful figure! I personally am a curvy girl, and I love each and every curve on my body!

• High-Waist Dress


• Matching Flats

If you aren’t comfortable with your arms, a cardigan or blazer can be thrown on top. Don’t be afraid to show off your curves. With high-waist dresses, the attention is taken off of the belly area and shows your curvy shape a lot better.

So girls, regardless of your size, remember SIMPLE IS CHIC! Many times, we think we have to keep adding clothing, but a basic outfit can turn into a very classy one with the addition of jewelry! A long, maybe chunky, necklace with tons of texture will do the trick! Go to your favorite jewelry store and STOCK UP on rings, earrings, and sunglasses! You never know when that random ring you bought will be the piece that will make your outfit pop!

Regardless of your body type, get a few signature pieces that look good with just about anything and aren’t too flashy to be worn only once. This can be a jewelry, your favorite shoe, or the best fitting jeans you own. Mine is my Jean Paul Gaultier Boyfriend Blazer that I found at my favorite thrift store Buffalo Exchange! It is my best friend because it serves as a sassy jacket and also the classiest piece of any of my outfits!

Finally, here are a few last things to remember!

1. Don’t be afraid to try new looks! Colors, prints, and textures are your friends!
2. Accessorize, Accessorize, and in case you forgot Accessorize!
3. Nothing will look good unless you exude the confidence!

--Rebecca Matey
Brownstone Intern

Freshen Up Your Winter Fashion

Winter woes are not just limited to chapped lips and cold fingers, for many a fashionista keeping your winter wardrobe fresh is just as great a dilemma. Fortunately for you, we’ve got the inside scoop on easy and creative ways to update your winter wardrobe and keep your style fresh. These easy to follow steps will have you ready for winter weather and looking like a million bucks (without breaking your bank).

Step 1: Layer Up
-Remember chilly weather doesn’t mean you have to hide yourself in oversized coats and sweaters. Instead, opt to layer an eye catching camisole under a sweater. Learning to layer your outfits can prove essential to creating a fashion forward look that will keep you warm even as the temperatures dip. This season, canvas coats, leather jackets and boyfriend blazers are all must have’s for bringing your winter wear together. Like the Courtney Bomber, a cropped bomber jacket for $49.50 available at Delias or for a sporty look, try the BDG Varsity jacket, $88.00 available at UrbanOutfitters.

Step 2: Accessorize Away
-Accessories are key to adding flair to any outfit and a perfect way to further display your individuality. For a more “bohemian” style, vintage and natural pieces are key to include. Ask your mother if she has any old jewelry, hats or bags. There’s sure to be something you can salvage and give new life to. For a more vibrant colorful expression, multicolored bangles and scarves never fail to add a splash of color, I found great pieces at Claire’s, like their Beaded Bracelet set, $9.50 and the Windy Flower headband, $3.80 at Forever21 that add flair to your outfit and fit any budget.

Step 3: Creative Kicks

-Many focus on the outfit but neglect the shoes. Make sure you remember that what you wear on your feet is another outlet to display your personality. No matter whether you favor the casual sneaker or the stylish boot, cold weather is all the more reason for you to be daring. On Zappos with a little searching you can find something suited to your taste, like Myca, the trendy metallic flat from Report, $68.95, which is sure to turn heads. Look for Havoc, a slouchy distressed boot with attitude to spare from Wanted, $49.99, at Piperlime another online site dedicated to shoes.

Step 4: Don’t forget to Shine
- No matter the weather, don’t forget to let your personality shine through. Whether you show your love for stripes with a new scarf or you display your personal star power with a cute pair of metallic ballet flats, remember that style doesn’t just come from what you have on, but from the inside. The outfit doesn’t make the girl but rather, the girl makes the outfit FRESH!

--Amelia Jones
Brownstone Intern

The Forgotten

You’ve heard the saying “Out of sight, out of mind” right? 9 times out of 10, we fail to realize the importance of something until it effects us directly. How many of you heard of Haiti before they were hit by that catastrophic 7.0 earthquake last week? How many knew that Haiti was one of the poorest countries in the Western Hemisphere? I mean…I’ve heard of Haiti, but sadly I didn’t realize how poverty stricken they are. It’s sad that many people probably never thought twice about Haiti until the earthquake. On the flip side, it’s great to see so many people coming together to help with relief efforts. I know one thing’s for sure, I think we’ve all learned to appreciate the little things we often take for granted.

I think an important lesson we can learn from the situation is to appreciate the little things we often take for granted. For one day, I dare you to put a dollar (or a penny, nickel, whatever you have) in a jar every time you complain about something. I bet you’d find yourself with a lot of money. I know I would! I think now you’ll see that complaining about not getting those Seven jeans or having to catch the bus because your parents won’t let you drive their car is nothing in comparison to what teens in Haiti are going through.

I spoke with Savannah Roberson, 15, out of Oxnard CA and here’s what she had to say about the effect the earthquake in Haiti has had on her.

“It makes me realize how fortunate we are to live in the United States. I’m thankful that we have buildings that can support us. Theirs weren’t made like that because they don’t have the money. It makes me want to give back more because their country is destroyed and there is nothing they can do about it. At school, we had a fundraiser called “Hats for Haiti.” Since I go to a private school with a strict dress code we were allowed to wear hats if we donated money. Our school was able to exceed our goal of $3,000 and raise $5,000. If we had an earthquake I would want people to help us. I think we would all come together as a community if something were to happen like that here.”

I hope that this tragic situation will open our eyes to the world outside of the United States. There are a lot of people suffering overseas. I know it gets hard, but we should remember that there is always someone who has less than we do. We should always try to lend a hand. It doesn’t always have to be monetary. You can donate food or clothing to someone in need as well. Let’s not wait to until tragedy streaks to remember the forgotten.

Here are some ways to get involved with Haiti relief efforts:

• Red Cross
• World Vision
• UNICEF
• Black Gives Back

--Tymika Morrison

Brownstone Team