Your Body is Your Temple

It seems like everywhere you look, from television to magazines, and even within your circle of family and friends, everyone is concerned with losing weight. Summer fashion means that more skin is showing, but regardless of the time of year, body image and physical appearance are a constant focus of the media. Our society is becoming more "health conscious," but at the same time, advertisers targets our population with negative and/or unrealistic images concerning healthy bodily proportions.

For one, we are constantly bombarded with advertisements featuring celebrities. What we fail to realize is that although they are in fact, average people like you and me, they are paid to look a certain way. It’s their job to maintain a certain body size, and this particular industry has a significant effect on youth today. I’m sure you can think of your favorite movie star or singer who has that perfect body and makes it all seem so easy; as if they wake up everyday with that kind of body – no effort needed. The truth is that they have personal trainers and stylists and a whole crew of people who are paid to make them look glamorous 24/7. Not to mention technology that can airbrush any dimples or unflattering bulges. Sounds a little fake right? My point exactly.

At a first glance, none of these things come to mind – all you think is Wow, she looks great, instead of I wonder how many hours of exercising and eating right combined with a team of people it took to achieve that look.

This doesn’t mean you can’t idolize certain celebrities and appreciate them as beautiful. All of this is to say that the attributes society and the media emphasize as beautiful in a woman, (typically a size 1-3 waist size, A-B cup, very little curves, skinny and lean), is not the only definition of beautiful, nor the only healthy body type.

Especially within our culture, females come in all different shapes, sizes, skin tones, and ethnicities. With all of the diversity within black culture, how could anyone expect us all to look the same? Furthermore, how can we all be expected to conform to one standard of beauty? (i.e. what the media portrays as the perfect body) My message to you is that, as our society progresses in this health revolution, don’t let standards for a particular majority lock you into what your beauty is supposed to look like.

Recently, I’ve been so concerned with getting healthy (and thus looking cute) that I ended up doing more damage than productive action physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. I immediately took many of my favorite foods off of my list of what I allowed myself to eat, tried to only drink water, and set up a rigorous workout schedule. I envied my friends who seemed to have that perfect body so effortlessly, and punished myself for not looking exactly like they did. Eventually, it got to the point where I realized that I started feeding off of others’ negative body talk and comparing stories of how I wish I could be skinny again. (I gained the freshman 15 and got a chubby tummy in college, but the truth is, I’m a size 3. Crazy right?) I let society define what beauty is, and defined myself by my physical appearance alone. I stopped appreciating myself (and others) for all of the other God-given talents I possessed and limited myself to someone else’s standard.

I can honestly say one of my biggest regrets is that I allowed myself to stay trapped inside of that negative mentality for so long. I’m happy that I’m in the place that I am in now, where I can learn to appreciate myself for so much more than my body, but it took a lot of growth and daily positive thinking to help me see the light. While I was stuck in this temporary hole, I realized that I wasn’t alone. My friends and family, those who I was surrounded by the most, were the ones having those skinny girl conversations with me, or dropping comments about how they used to look so much better when they were smaller. Combined with the millions of advertisements about losing weight "to become the happiest person I’ve been in years," it seemed as though losing weight was the only way to achieve peace.

Wrong.

Peace is when you can wake up and smile, appreciating the beauty that surrounds you, regardless of what you look like and what the world is throwing at you. Peace is when you can walk confidently and know that you are worth every bit of love that God has for you.
My peace is knowing that I am beautiful because I have the love and support of my friends and family, and because I don’t let my present situation or media portrayals of beauty and worth define who I am. The fact of the matter is that I had to learn how to love myself all over again. To love my chubby tummy, but love myself even more by eating right and exercising – because I like to and it’s good for me, not because I have to in order to be beautiful. To love myself and spend time getting to know myself so that whenever I feel the superficial insecurities that the media feeds on to sell me a product and make me feel inadequate, I am already built up on the inside to know that I am beautiful because I say so, not because someone else does.

Especially as an underrepresented minority, we black females need to encourage each other to continue redefining beauty for ourselves. We need to build each other up in sisterly love and confidence that society may not always have time for. It’s up to you to start being happy now instead of waiting for that perfect time to lose 10 lbs or do whatever it is that you think will make you feel better. The process starts with working on your inner peace and developing a healthy relationship with yourself. This means telling yourself positive and uplifting things, instead of punishing yourself for not being exactly where you want to be right now with personal habits, school, friends, boys, etc. If at the end of the day you can’t depend on yourself, then who can you depend on? Whenever I find myself picking out a negative trait or physical flaw, I remind myself that I love myself, and it’s okay because I don’t have to be perfect.

Someone once told me that you always find what you look for. Instead of looking for what you’re unhappy with, appreciate today and delight in the beauty that surrounds you. Love yourself – no one else can do it better.

In peace,
Brittany

--Brittany Allen
Brownstone Intern