Boys

Okay, girls. Apparently I like to talk about relationships in my posts, so let’s keep the party going. Two posts back, I talked about maintaining your friendships with fellow girls. This time, let’s talk about boys.

You guys are still pretty early in your dating years (I’m assuming). I’ve been in the dating world for some years now, so I want to share are some tips with you that I’ve learned over the years on being a good girlfriend, having a good boyfriend, and maintaining your relationship.

1. Know your deal-breakers.

Before you even get in a relationship, you may want to know what things are important to you in a significant other. What things will you absolutely not put up with? Is it important that they share the same religious beliefs? That they have a good temper? That they not drink and/or do drugs? That they have a good sense of humor? Make a list of the characteristics that you’d like to have in a boyfriend. (And I stress characteristics, not possessions. If your list is all about what they have and nothing about who they are, you may want to check your values.) Know what kinds of things you love in other people, what kinds of things you’ll tolerate, and what youwon’t. Also, don’t expect perfection from a guy unless you’re perfect. And you’re not. :)

2. Look out for #1.

Please, please, please respect yourself. Have standards. Don’t belittle yourself or settle for less for the sake of having a boyfriend. Being single is not the worst thing in the world! If you’re not ready to have sex, don’t do it just because you’re getting pressure from a cute guy at school. You’ll regret it later. Yes, you will. If a guy insults you or your interests, if he’s abusive, if he’s dishonest, do you have to put up with that? No. I don’t care how cute/fine/popular he is… you deserve better. Be happily single until you find someone who will treat you well. There are other fish in the sea. I promise.

3. Keep your own life in balance.

I know how it is when you are in a new relationship and you’re smitten with your new boyfriend. You want to spend every minute spending time with him or talking on the phone with him. That’s all fine, but make sure you don’t get too consumed to the point that you forget about your own life. Continue with your hobbies & commitments. Spend time with your friends and family. Let him spend time with his.

4. Take the lead every now and then.

It’s okay to expect your boyfriend to treat you like a lady. Open doors, pull out chairs, take you on dates, pay for dinner, walk you to our door, etc. In fact, you should expect it! But, be careful not to get princess syndrome. Guys like it when you take the lead every now and then. Don’t wait for him to plan every date; sometimes, you plan it! Surprise him and pay for a dinner. Buy him a little gift out of the blue for no reason. He’ll appreciate your thoughtfulness.

5. Support his interests (and expect him to support yours).

Is your boyfriend an athlete? Go cheer him on at his games! Is he in school plays? Go see it. Is he into comic books? Chess? Film? Skateboarding? Whatever. Show an interest. You don’t have to love it, but if it’s important to him, show support. Ask him about it and give positive/constructive feedback. Expect the same from him with your interests.

6. Communicate, communicate, communicate.

This is something I have always had to work on – communicating. Talking about things that bother me is not always the easiest thing for me to do, but it’s very important in relationships. No matter how small the issue is. Once you’ve established trust, talk to your boyfriend about… whatever. If you have a problem with something, talk to him about it. If he does something that bothers you, talk to him about it. If he does something you love, talk to him about it. I’ve said this before, and I CANNOT reiterate it enough: do not bring your relationship drama to Facebook and/or Twitter. If you’re having a fight, don’t talk crap about him on the Internet. The Internet can be DA DEBIL when it comes to people’s relationships. It’s not everybody’s business to know… and if he’s putting you on blast on the Internet, then please drop him. That’s not OK (in my opinion).

7. Enjoy it!

Do fun stuff together. Spend time getting to know each other. Establish your own little routines within your relationship. Enjoy the butterflies. Dating can be awesome! (It can also be a monster if it goes awry… but that’s another post for another day. LOL!)

Happy dating, girls!

-- Chevonne Collins
Guest Blogger