When it comes to the opposite sex and relationships, being a teenager can make this time an exciting, yet sometimes confusing experience. Every now and then, you see a boy that might catch your eye and make you think that maybe it’s time to be more than friends. Many of you may even be wondering what ‘more than friends’ specifically means. I remember when I was in high school and I started telling my mom about a boy that I liked, she never took it too seriously. She’d appease my feelings for the moment, and then would never think much of it. It wasn’t until I was sixteen and had my first boyfriend that she realized I was growing up. I think she realized that I was old enough, and mature enough to know what I liked and didn’t like in terms of boys. This isn’t to say that if you want your parents to take you seriously, you should get a boyfriend. But sometimes, it can be a transition point in your life.For those of you who are wondering what it means to be in a relationship at this age, I can offer this advice: It’s whatever you want it to mean. You’re not married and you’re not 25, so it’s not the most serious thing in the world. At the same time, you’re also not 10 years old anymore, and being in a relationship does have a significant impact in your life. With that being said, finding a good balance with the boy you’re interested in is key.
Some of you may even be at the point where you’re simply trying to get Mr. Gorgeous to notice you. Let’s start here. Here are some tips to at least test the waters.
Say hi – He’ll never know who you are if you’ve never said hi! It seems a little silly, but you have to start somewhere.
Pay attention to the things he’s interested in and the attitude he has. Dig deeper than his appearance or athletic ability and see if you really want to get to know more about him.
Group Dates are really fun and a great way to be in the same place at the same time without any pressure. Talk to your girls (who most likely already know how you feel) and see if they can help get a group together to go somewhere fun. While you’re all out having fun, it’s a lot easier to engage in conversation if you’re still too shy to have that 1-on-1 conversation.
Personal time – Ask him about something you know he’s interested in. For example, if you know he’s on the football team and he has an upcoming game, ask him how he’s feeling about it. The next time you see him, you can ask him how the game was and pick up the conve
rsation from where you left off. (Disclaimer: Don’t talk about something you really have no interest in hearing about though, because he’ll pick up on your vibes of boredom.) The conversation doesn’t have to be overwhelmingly deep because you’re just getting your toes wet, but at least you’ll have somewhere to pick up from when you talk to him again. You can even pick up on a conversation that was started on the group date. Maybe he mentioned a movie he wanted to see and you can suggest getting a group together to go see it.
Once you’ve tested the waters, it should be a little bit easier to at least see if he’s receptive of the attention you’re giving him. If he starts coming up with reasons to talk to you, or inviting you to things that he’ll be at, then there’s a good chance he’s interested. And if he doesn’t, that’s okay too. Something that I’ve learned, is that guys want to make sure they can be our friends too – they need someone to talk to just as much as we do and it gets pretty boring if all you can do is stare at each other because you have nothing in common.
rsation from where you left off. (Disclaimer: Don’t talk about something you really have no interest in hearing about though, because he’ll pick up on your vibes of boredom.) The conversation doesn’t have to be overwhelmingly deep because you’re just getting your toes wet, but at least you’ll have somewhere to pick up from when you talk to him again. You can even pick up on a conversation that was started on the group date. Maybe he mentioned a movie he wanted to see and you can suggest getting a group together to go see it.Once you’ve tested the waters, it should be a little bit easier to at least see if he’s receptive of the attention you’re giving him. If he starts coming up with reasons to talk to you, or inviting you to things that he’ll be at, then there’s a good chance he’s interested. And if he doesn’t, that’s okay too. Something that I’ve learned, is that guys want to make sure they can be our friends too – they need someone to talk to just as much as we do and it gets pretty boring if all you can do is stare at each other because you have nothing in common.
With all of this in mind, try not to get too stressed out about the guy in question. Take things slow and feel the situation out. Everything typically falls into place the way it’s supposed to be. It’s okay to take advantage of the situation by being proactive – saying hi, engaging him in conversation, etc. – and you’ll be able to feel out how he’s feeling too.
Maybe you have some good tips that have worked for you in the past. Feel free to share with our other readers!!
-- Brittany Allen
Brownstone Team
Brownstone Team
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