Love for Others, Not Just Yourself

Attention, Attention! We have a problem! There is a deficiency in L-O-V-E. It’s time to talk about the lack of love and concern for those around us. I mean, I just don’t feel it! There is really a selfishness that needs to end ASAP. I’m starting to see a stinginess amongst the youth that is really bothering me. As an individual with family all over the world (I am Nigerian, Ghanaian, and Lebanese) I know that my world does not exist completely within the borders of America. When I was 16, I went to London and realized that American history was not the history of the world. Not only my immediate family, but the news as well, made fun of how ignorant Americans were and still are.

There are so many luxuries that we take for granted and even complain about because our eyes have not seen the struggle of third world countries. There are plenty of things that we can do inside and outside of our community and country to start the improvement of our global community. We should start helping others out of the kindness of our hearts. The You-Owe-Me Syndrome needs to seize to exist! Whether it’s something as small as listening to a friend in need or grand as going abroad and helping in Haiti, we need to stop complaining and start acknowledging the world outside of yourself. Instead of writing a person off because of their flaws, how about search for their attributes and accentuate those?

I want us to begin to change who we are and who we want to see ourselves as. Ladies, leave your mark on this world as someone that positively impacted that impoverished Ugandan girl suffering from AIDS or the Haitian family struck by the earthquake, instead of the girl who only thinks of herself. So here’s what I say we do:

• Get a Journal: Monitor yourself. Write down what you are happy to have. Write down what you wish you had and hadn’t done in the day. It’s so easy to overlook the simple things in life that make us so blessed to be in America.
• Do Community Service: Don’t do this because it’s mandatory. Do it because people that are far less privileged need this. It will make them happy knowing that youth care about them.
• Help Abroad: There are several organizations that allow students to travel abroad to do community service projects. Hopefully, I’ll be going to Belize this winter to help in an orphanage.
• Read the News: This can be boring and depressing sometimes, but you guys need to start hearing the reality of the world and even find out about causes you can help change.
• Join a Club: If there is a cause that you are passionate about, there may be a club in your school that has it. If not, make one! My high school didn’t have a Black Student Association, so my best friends started one and we began helping out our community.
  

When I do these things, I know people are happy, but I also am happier. See if this brings a bit more happiness in your life. Here’s a quote to leave with you guys…

"The impersonal hand of government can never replace the helping hand of a neighbor." ~Hubert H. Humphrey




-- Rebecca Matey
Brownstone Intern

Struggling with Stereotypes

Unfortunatly, stereotypes run rampant in the African-American community. I know you have heard the terms oreo, square, hood rat and ghetto girl, just to name a few, but I could honestly go on listing examples of derogatory ways we describe classmates, co-workers and sometimes friends. Stereotypes will always be around but as a teenager, stereotypes can have a negative affect on the way you perceive yourself and the people in your community.

One of the most dominant stereotypes is the ghetto girl. This is a stereotype that constantly appears, whether it’s in the media, at school or in our neighborhoods. In the media, especially on reality shows, we see just about any young black woman categorized as ghetto or hood. But what exactly makes her ghetto? Is it the boisterous voice, the creative choice of clothing or just because they live in a certain area? It irritates me that in our society, everything that is negative or broken is classified as ghetto. When people use the word ghetto are they also insinuating that a girl who may be strong, independent and driven is someone who is broken and cannot accomplish anything just because of the color of their skin or where they are from?

We can’t just blame people who are outside of our community for perpetuating these stereotypes because we often do it to ourselves. Have you ever heard the term oreo? Not the cookie, but the stereotype that some one is black on the outside and white on the inside. This is something I struggled with a lot growing up. I grew up in a black neighborhood, but attended predominately white schools. Often, I spoke and dressed differently than my neighborhood peers because of the schools I attended. I was very involved in my community, so I often found myself being told I was “acting white” or that I was an oreo because of my choice to use proper English instead of everyday slang. It’s hard to know that someone thinks you are any less black because of your adaptation into your surroundings.

The most important thing to remember when faced with stereotypes is to know who you are and know how to defend yourself. No, I am not saying defense as in getting into a fight with anyone who classifies you into a stereotype. However, it is important to challenge that person on what they are saying. You hear a peer say, “Ugh, that girl is so ghetto.” Ask what makes her that way and why they choose to use that terminology. Be the advocate within your peer group to stop the stereotyping or at least the one trying to help figure out why it is being used. Many times we use certain language because it’s pleasing to the crowd we are in and we just want to fit it. As you transition out of high school, you will learn that fitting into the crowd is not always the best option for you and that standing up for what you believe in is actually a more comfortable position to be in. No one enjoys the negative wrath of stereotyping , so remember to pay attention to what you say and how you say it.

-- Martine Rouzan
Brownstone Team

The Not So Sexy Side of Sex

The number of African American teenagers (ages 13 to 19) who are sexually active is, as always, concerning to our community. Adolescent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) among Black teenagers are higher than any other community, including Hispanics and Whites. This is the not so sexy side to sex. We all know someone under the age of 20 who has either gotten pregnant or has contracted an STD. You may think that you're invincible and somehow exempt from this reality, but this is the same attitude that actually makes us more vulnerable to becoming pregnant or infected. Before learning the hard way, take a look at some helpful prevention tips…

Get Tested

If you have already started having sexual intercourse GET TESTED, even if it was only one time. You can never be too sure and you can’t always trust your partner. One of the most common STD’s among women is human papillomavirus (HPV), a virus that only females can be tested for. So, if a guy has it, he has no way of knowing if he’s putting your life at risk. Getting tested also means that you can get treated. Many STDs are treatable and/or can be managed, so it’s important to be proactive and see your gynecologist regularly. It may be uncomfortable guessing whether or not you may have something, but there’s way more comfort in knowing for sure!

Birth Control

The best birth control is not having sex at all. BUT, if you’re past that, there are plenty of birth control options that can help in preventing pregnancy and diseases. There are condoms (including female condoms), oral birth control and lots of other options that will help you be more responsible if you are choosing to engage in sexual activities.

Community

If you know someone who you think is going down a dangerous path, help them! Let them know about resources that are out there. We are a community and our actions do affect our lives in some way. Help yourself, and help others because it will make a positive impact!

Resources

• Black Women’s Health
• Planned Parenthood-Los Angeles
• Free Clinics
• Aids Walk Los Angeles 2010
  
  

--Kyle Holland
Brownstone Team

Roadmap to True Beauty

As I was cleaning my room the other day, I decided to watch some On Demand music videos to break the monotony of the task. I skimmed through my video choices and decided on Ciara’s “Ride.” I turned the volume up and watched her intently as she sang, "I market it so goooodd, they can't wait to try-y-y-y me." Her long black weave looked flawless, her six pack was amazing, and her legs went on for days. I made a mental note to cut down on my spending for the month so I could afford to buy a pack of 20" Indian hair, hit the gym 7 (maybe even 8) days a week, and master her body roll in time for my best friend’s upcoming party. I had a long way to go!

Later on in the day, I got in my car and turned on the radio. The lyrics, “My chick bad, my chick hood, my chick do things that your chick wish she could” streamed through my radio. I love this beat! As I was dancing in my car I started to think, do I know how to do things some other girl wishes she could? Should I be able to do things some other girl wishes she could? Hmmm that must be why I don’t have a boyfriend, there aren't enough girls who envy me for being able to do the things they wish they could.

Have you ever had days like this? Where everywhere you look and everything you see seems to confirm the fact that as a girl, your worth is determined by your looks and your sexuality? Days where it seems that the only thing boys are interested in is how long your hair is, how tight your body is, and how provocatively you can dance? It is so easy to get caught up in the standard of beauty and the intense sexuality that popular culture and music portray. I mean let’s face it, it’s fun to get all dressed up and dance to lyrics like “drop down low and sweep the floor with it.” But that’s all it should be, fun! Think of these songs as mere entertainment, not a guideline on how to become a desired and beautiful girl.

So if physical appearance and sexuality don’t define a truly beautiful girl, what does?

-Her Heart
A girl with a beautiful heart is kind and thoughtful. She has an innate joy about her that makes people want to be around her. She is giving and, although she loves to pamper herself, she always finds a way to help out others.

-Her Spirit
A girl with a beautiful spirit prefers to think of the glass as half full rather than half empty. She is optimistic and enjoys the subtle humor of everyday life. She loves to laugh and takes pleasure in knowing that no matter what happens in her life, it all happens for a reason.

-Her Mind
A girl with a beautiful mind is eager to learn and open to new experiences. She is ambitious with goals for her future that she is determined to achieve. She is investigative and loves to find out new information. She doesn’t let anyone think for her and is not afraid to speak her mind.

Is it bad to want to feel pretty? Absolutely not! Is it OK to want to switch up your style, add an extra piece to your hair, or work on your fitness? Of course! The problem comes when the entirety of your energy is based on how you look and how closely your look matches the popular standard of beauty. By no means is it wrong to dance with your friends and sing a long to silly lyrics. Problems do arise, however, when every lyric from every song is taken to heart, and you start to believe that your worth is associated with how well you can "pop lock and drop it." Looks are only skin deep, but your true beauty comes from your heart, your spirit, and your mind. You, my lovely readers, are beautiful :)



-- Karissa Allen
Guest Blogger

Meet our newest guest blogger, Karissa! Karissa Allen is a graduate from the University of Southern California. She works in Operations for Smashbox Cosmetics, and hopes to return to school for her MBA within the next few years. She currently resides in Los Angeles, CA.

Take the Lead: Key Steps to Obtaining a Leadership Role

School is officially in session and I know you’re ready to get back into the groove of extra-curricular activities. Whether it’s cheer, drama club or ASB, involvement in these organizations make some of the best memories. Obtaining a leadership role in your club of choice is a guaranteed way to get the most out of your experience as a member. You may already have a passion for your organization, but becoming a leader will give you a new found respect for it and all its behind the scenes functions. Leadership opens up more opportunities for growth and success, but getting there might be a new challenge in itself.

If you are debating a leadership position, remember the most important quality is to know yourself and what you are good at. Take some time to write down your strengths. If you’re stumped, don’t be afraid to consult your friends, family and even your school counselors. Sometimes others can see qualities in us that we don’t even realize we have. Discovering these strengths will help you to decide what roles are best for you to pursue.

Once you have decided on a position to pursue, make a plan. As a freshman you will not be ready to become Student Body President, but that should not prevent you from working towards your ultimate goal. Talk to current members of the organization and set up time to shadow them. Also, look for opportunities at your experience level, such as a class representative. Once you have reached your goal, don’t forget how you were helped, and offer advice to younger students with interest. It is always rewarding to pay it forward!

What if you want to get involved, but nothing sparks your interest? Well, start your own organization. If your middle school had an Environmental Club, why not bring it over to high school? After all, you have the prior experience and there are always others with similar interests. Involvement doesn’t just have to be at school. Community or church organizations may be more of your preference, so go with your heart!

Also remember, don’t get discouraged if you are new on campus. You might be a freshman or maybe a junior who has transferred schools, but that doesn’t mean your prior experience has vanished. Every great leader takes a few risks from time to time, so don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. Having a fresh leader in the organization can sometimes be a welcomed change. An outsider looking in can always make observations and suggestions on improvements.

The decision to become a leader on campus will reap many rewards. Colleges look for well rounded candidates, and the extent of your involvement at school will help them to recognize you as someone they want. Leadership roles will give you the opportunity to learn how to work with different types of people, delegate tasks and master the art of time management between your school work, social life and leadership responsibilities. If you are applying for your first job or internship, sometimes school is the only experience you have. Showcasing the skills you learned while leading the volleyball team to the championships or planning your prom while staying within budget will show express your potential.

Most importantly, leadership builds character by challenging you with difficult situations and rewarding you with accomplishments. As you transition from high school to college and even on to the work force, you will find that leadership will transform from an option into a prerequisite for success. Get moving in the right direction now and you will thank yourself later.

--Martine Rouzan
Brownstone Team

Faces of Color Hit the Runway at Fashion Week

Ladies, as I waltz through my apartment, I am singing ‘It’s the most wonderful time of the year!’ I hope you know what I’m talking about. Fashion Week! Designers, models, & make-up! It’s just absolutely beautiful. What I’m even happier to see is the plethora of African American designers and models that are being showcased this year. I want you guys to get a feel of the growing number of African Americans in the fashion industry. There used to be a time (and sometime’s still is) when magazines would go front to back without having one single African American model in the issue. Now, there are far more models and designers that have broken barriers, and continue to do so. Many of us only know Alek Wek, Chanel Iman, Tyra Banks, and Naomi Campbell as the faces of black models. Now the industry has far more models, and this year is showing so many more models of color (I’m so excited!). The fashion/modeling industry is very hard to break into, but if you want it, go for it!

Along with models there are designers, such as Rachel Roy, Tracy Reese, & Maya Lake of Boxing Kitten. These ladies have really set the bar for creativity within the African American fashion community. Below you’ll see a bit of the beautiful fashion these ladies have delivered for us to really take inspiration from.

Rachel Roy: A California native, Rachel Roy was once an intern for Rocawear working her way from the mailroom all the way up to becoming Creative Director. In Fall 2004, she established her own line, Rachel Roy, which has flourished and has been worn by Keke Palmer and even Michelle Obama.

Maya Lake: A self-taught designer, Maya Lake has made her mark in the fashion world with vibrant African prints. Seen especially on Solange Knowles, Maya’s work has displayed traditional prints with modern cuts. She has been the most enjoyable designer I’ve seen in a long time!

Tracy Reese: A graduate from Parsons School of Design, Tracy Reese is a fan of intricate prints and impeccable detail. This woman shows the world eclectic pieces and features several African American Models to showcase her work.

Sadly, Fashion Week is ending soon, but African American designers and models are here to stay and some of you young women will also make an impact on the fashion world. Style.com is a great place to check out what tons of designers doing. Like our junior correspondent, Jamiah said, we don’t need magazines or designers dictating what we should wear, and these ladies have definitely set themselves apart from the rest of the pack. Trends still exist, so why not be ahead of the fall trends and forecast what’s to come in the spring? Fashion is a wonderful expression of self, and you guys should all venture out in expressing who you are, not through labels, but through your presentation of prints, colors, and textures. In the end, do it for you, not to impress anyone.

-- Rebecca Matey
Brownstone Intern

SPECIAL EDITION: Happy 1 Year Anniversary Brownstone!

Happy Birthday Brownstone! Today marks our 1 year blogaversary. I can’t believe that a year has gone by already! My baby is growing up so fast...lol. We’re accomplished so much this year. I don’t think you understand how much hard work has gone into this blog! So much planning (a year and a half) went into the actual launch of the site. It’s amazing to see how much Brownstone has grown and to see it slowly maturing into such an amazing resource for you our readers.

Her Story. In my very first post, I introduced Brownstone as a new blog that would empower young African-American girls of color. After growing up with magazines like Teen People and Seventeen that I loved reading, but couldn’t really see myself in; I had a dream to create an outlet that not only represented the interests of black teens but would also serve as voice for your generation. Like our tagline says, it’s about your story, the journey you are taking into womanhood, and the legacy you are creating.

From hair to beauty to relationships, we understand that as girls we may go through the same issues, but as young black women our struggles are different. And rather than ignore that, we choose to acknowledge it! In addition, we strive to highlight the successes of black women. There are so many negative stereotypes in the media regarding black women that we want to empower young girls with positive images and stories of what black woman really can do!

Hopefully by now you have an understanding of my story and why Brownstone is so important. I hope that you will be inspired to share your story with us too, so that we can help each other along our journeys.

Her Journey. Many times, I’ve heard the saying “It's about the journey, not the destination.” I think that I finally get it now that I’ve been actively working on Brownstone for 2 years. Creating and managing a blog is not easy! But when you think about it...nothing worth having is. A lot of time has gone into recruiting writers and thinking of content that is appealing to you girls. Some days have been great and others not so much. But rather than focusing on the long term goals for this project, which is to ultimately turn Brownstone into an online magazine, I’m learning to take the growth of Brownstone day by day. It’s very crucial that we do this right! I’ve seen so many black publications (with similar goals to Brownstone) come and go. Brownstone is here for the long run, so I don’t mind taking my time if that means being known nationally in the future. At the end of the day I’m thankful to say that we’re still here! I’m so proud of what our little blog is becoming :)

In year one, I’ve been most excited about our Brownstone Women’s Spotlight (BWS) that is featured at the end of each month. We introduced BWS back in February as we honored Black History Month. Our goal has been to feature everyday women to show that you don’t have to be a celebrity to be successful. We’ve highlighted some pretty amazing women from Kristin Jones, the White House intern to Nicole Gray, an up and coming sheriff. In addition, recently we’ve had several jr correspondents from Berkeley High School report on popular youth trends in fashion. I’m so excited to see teens interested in writing for Brownstone and hope that more will follow.

Her Legacy. Brownstone is just a piece of the legacy that I want to leave behind. We hope that you have enjoyed the stories we’re shared so far and we look forward to what is to come. Brownstone was created for you, so we definitely want to hear more from our readers in the future. Don’t be afraid to share with us what you like and dislike. Believe me our feelings won’t be hurt! We have a lot to look forward to in the upcoming year: more jr correspondent reporting, exciting features and a NEW website. As Brownstone continues to grow, I hope that a brighter light will shine on the stories of our journeys that will one day become our legacy.

Special Thanks. I personally would like to thank my team of writers: Kyle, Martine, Brittany, and Rebecca. You ladies have been a tremendous help to me over the past year! A special shout out to guest bloggers Nyvia and Chevonne, who have both added a unique point of view to the site. And of course, I would like to acknowledge our other guest bloggers and jr correspondents who have stepped in to make this dream of mine a reality. Thanks to my friends and family who have offered their support and advice. A special thanks to Myshell Tabu who designed the Brownstone logo. Stay tuned...the best is yet to come!

Cheers to Brownstone and many more years of telling “Her Story. Her Journey. Her Legacy.”

-- Tymika Morrison
Brownstone Team